hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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