I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
