You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
