I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
