they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
