mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
