New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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