My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize