So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
