Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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