he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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