i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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