dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
pray to the hookup gods
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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