just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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