I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
