We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
