so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
