How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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