I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
