i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
