you guys were way drunker than both of me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
