I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
