Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize