A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize