OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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