i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize