im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
