I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
People in love make me want to vomit
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
