thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
