im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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