This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
