i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
