shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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