her vagine was all disorganized.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
