thus making me awesome and them whores
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
