I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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