careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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