a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
