it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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