i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize