I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
