I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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