What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
