Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
