I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i love accidental penises.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
