I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
