Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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