My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize