I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
