I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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