Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
