I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
