RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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