I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize