I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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