just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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